Monday, October 5, 2009

My kid said WHAT?

I remember the first time I said a bad word in front of my parents. I was in Jr. High and I had called a girl a "prick". We were at dinner, at a restaurant and my parents' forks hit the plate. I think at that point everyone in the restaurant turned their heads. My dad said to me "Do you know what that word means?". I didn't. He said "It means PENIS.". Awkward. I wanted to hide under the table. I was so embarrassed. My dad told me that I shouldn't use words that I didn't understand.

I found out yesterday that Logan had said, (deep breath), the "N" word. I just about died. Hayden tattled on him but I found out that Hayden was the one who told him that word. I know for a fact that they didn't learn it from us! I kept a level head and didn't yell. I sat them both down and asked Hayden where he heard it. He said school of course, last year. He heard some kids say it and it was written in the bathroom. Interesting considering the school they attended last year is more than half black and virtually all of his friends were black. How was the word being used? Is either way acceptable? I don't think so. It's confusing for children when they hear rappers using it. Then I asked them if they knew what it meant, the conversation with my dad popped into my head. Neither did. I was a little relieved. I told them that this word is worse than any word they could ever use and it was used to describe a group of people. It was NOT an acceptable word, for anyone to use! "You shouldn't use words that you do not understand." I didn't go into any more detail than that. Not right now. I can only hope that they listen to me.

We cannot possibly be with our children every second of the day. Unfortunately, they are going to hear things, learn things and do things that we don't want them to. It is our job as parents to teach them that those things are not acceptable and steer them in the right direction. We as parents will come across embarrassing situations such as these, but it's how we handle them that makes a difference. (shooting star "The More You Know")


2 comments:

  1. Oh my GOSH! The n word huh? Wow. You handled that very well!! I work in the social services/people with developmental disabilities realm and we're working hard on an educational piece about how it's not cool to call someone "retarded" and it's much of the same thing ... people don't really know what that means or how it hurts the people that have been given that label over the years. The thing we're running into is that the PARENTS are the ones that are using it more than the children!

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  2. Kay, I have a problem with the word "retarded" too because my cousin has Downs Syndrome and he was called retarded by some kids. Words hurt, bottom line. Thanks!

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