Monday, June 16, 2008

Perhaps the most embarrassing moment...EVER!

I'm not a "regular" kinda girl, if you know what I mean. I usually have to go at the most inconvenient times; at Target, the grocery store and heaven forbid...WORK. My husband affectionately calls me "shit-break" after American Pie, you know the kid that would only go on his toilet. At work the other day I had asked a fellow sonographer to show me how to do this particular exam, a lengthy exam at that. We were in the middle of the exam when it hit. There was a rumbly in my tumbly! I tried not to think about it as the tech was going over in detail the anatomy and the protocol.
Tech: Remember this is the cephalic vein, it's along the thumb.
Me (in my head): Right, right. Cephalic, thumb.
But I couldn't concentrate. All I was thinking about was how bad my stomach was hurting. I was standing, so I was trying to shift my weight, cross my legs this way and that way. I was squeezing my cheeks together so hard that if you put a lump of coal there I probably could have produced a diamond! The room got dead silent. Then it happened...I farted. I was so embarrassed I just pretended as though I didn't hear it. It was either that or I try to simulate the sound with my tennis shoe on the floor. Maybe the patient didn't hear it, she is kinda old. The tech, she was too involved in the exam, she probably didn't hear it either, right? What's the worst that could happen? She tells on the average 11 people and then they each tell 11 people and so on and so on....Yeah, I farted! Jealous?

7 comments:

  1. I encourage those of you with the intestinal faritude, I mean fortitude, to come forward and share your stories.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ahhh, crap. not literally, but still. ugh.
    i was at the beach a few years ago and i was on a bench with a friend and a friend of hers she always wanted to set me up with. i accidentally let out a little fart, and i don't know if HE heard it, but i think he did and i feel like that is why NOTHING romantic ever happened between us.
    so embarrassing! it happened in 5th grade and i tried to blame it on my shoe. 10 year olds are brutal!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yikes! It is embarrasing at the time but something you can totally look back and laugh at! And I totally know the make some other noise with you shoe or clear your throat, to conseal the fart move. Funny story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the SNL reference!

    I feel bad for people who are not regular. It seems like a hard way to go through life. So therefore, what you did was perfectly acceptable given your condition.

    If I'm sitting a chair or whatever and make a sound that resembles gas passing, I usually do it again to make sure that people know it was the chair and NOT me. I am unable to let one fly in front of others. I can't do it. I will make my stomach hurt for hours to avoid it.

    Good story though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I started drinking Gogi juice (you can find it / order it at health food stores or online) b/c I could only go once a week. (TMI, sorry)

    A couple ounces in the morning of this stuff and within a week or so it really helps your regularity. I can now go typically every other day. It is a natural berry and though it is high in sugar the sugars in the juice are natural. My mom has MS and she drinks this to help her immune system and for energy. This stuff is pretty great! Just passing the knowledge along!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! Oh, Shannonda, how I miss you so.

    I knew Nate was The One because he was the first guy I felt comfortable farting in front of. He gets a little choked up when I remind him of that honor. Oh wait, it's because he can't breathe.

    "I'm round-the-clock horny, I'm rockin' one leg..."

    ReplyDelete

Your thoughts...