Monday, June 30, 2008

Fountain of youth

Before my kids left for St. Louis we took them to the fountain park by our house. It has fountains for the kids to play in. They always have a blast there. Here are some pics I took.

Hayden posing

and not...I love to catch them off guard



Logan running through the fountain




He loves taking pictures

What a ham!

Bryn watching her brothers play

She had to get in on the action too

5 words

Wesley Clark...you're an idiot!

A Dear Mom letter

On Saturday my two boys went to St. Louis to spend some time with their grandma (my mom). I drove to Memphis to meet my mom at a Cracker Barrel where she picked them up. She is planning on taking them to the zoo, the Arch and the science center. My son Hayden sent me this email today.

Dear mom,
I miss you very much.Just I will be glad to see you when
me and Logan get home.Also to let you know that Logan,
Bobby,Grandma and I will go to the zoo tomorrow.And I
get to take a nother walk Toby again like yesterday.I will
go to a lot of places and have a lot of fun while I'm here.
But most of all,I miss you a lot and I love you a lot, too.

Sincerely your son,
Hayden

I thought I would enjoy my time away from them. I figured I could get a lot done. But getting emails like this just makes me miss them all the more! Hayden is such a big help to me and now that he is not here I realize just how much of a help he is. If anything I appreciate him even more. I can't wait for them to come home!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I am not making this up!

During a routine OB ultrasound exam today, I had to compose myself. This is an actual conversation. (To get the full effect use a Southern accent while reading.)

Britney: What is that? Is that the baby's face?

Me: No, that's the heart.

Britney: The heart...that looks funny?

Husband: Yeah hunny, she's takin' pitures of the 4 chamber heart.

Britney: Bobby, you dummy, we ain't got no 4 chamber heart.

Me (trying not to laugh....think dead puppies, dead puppies): Yeah...we do.

Britney: Oh wait, I was thinkin' 'bout cows. Ya know, they gots 4 stomachs.

*The only thing changed were the names. And the fact that I used the name Britney is purely coincidental. Again this was an actual conversation. In defense of Southerners, not all of them are this ignorant.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Midwest flooding

The following is an email my dad wrote and sent me:

Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn't solved the problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks (and trailers) are? Why isn't the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago? When will Spike Lee say that the Federal Government blew up the levees that failed in Des Moines? Where are Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks? Where are all the looters stealing high-end tennis shoes and big screen television sets? When will we hear Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a 'vanilla' Iowa, because that's the way God wants it? Where is the hysterical 24/7 media coverage complete with reports of cannibalism? Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people? How come in 2 weeks, you will never hear about the Iowa flooding ever again?

Monday, June 23, 2008

R.I.P. George Carlin

I was saddened to learn today that comic legend George Carlin had passed away yesterday evening. I really liked him, maybe it's because he looks so much like my father (my dad actually signed an autograph once). His comedy was genius! Let's not forget his 7 words you can't say on TV (some of which I use daily). I watched his new HBO special It's Bad For Ya a few weeks ago. It was hilarious. He will be missed!

Here are some of his one liners:


  • One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. (too funny!)

  • I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

  • Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac? (love it!)

  • Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

  • I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

  • I’m in shape. Round is a shape. (Amen!)

  • Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  • Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  • One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  • How is it possible to have a civil war?

  • If God dropped acid, would he see people?

  • If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

  • Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?

  • If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that shit?

  • I’m not into working out. My philoshophy is no pain, no pain. (Amen again!)

  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Gum control

One of my pet peeves is gum chewing. There is nothing wrong with gum, it's the gum chewers. Not the polite gum chewers, but the I am grazing in a field gum chewers. I don't like to hear it or see it. It's gross and rude, especially when in a public place. Today I had a nurse cracking and smacking her gum in my ear. It was completely distracting and annoying. I like a piece of gum on occasion, usually after a meal when I cannot brush my teeth, but that's it. If you are not going to chew politely then SPIT OUT YOUR DAMN GUM!

Notorious gum chewer

Friday, June 20, 2008

Crawfish boil

For Father's Day we had a New Orleans style crawfish boil with some great friends the Robichaux's. My dad (aka Motorcycle Grandpa) came in from North Carolina. This was the first time my dad has seen Bryn. Our friend Mr. Robichaux, born and raised here, cooked for us. We had crawfish, shrimp, potatoes, corn, sausage, onions, garlic, mushrooms and of course beer.



Awwww...



Here are the crawfish before the feast.



Fun with crawfish



Logan liked to "play" with them. Ouch!

Hayden, not so much.




The kids helped Mr. Robichaux clean the crawfish and pick out the dead ones. Gross.



Before

I can almost hear them scream!

After

Mr. Robichaux stirring the pot.

That's a lot of food!

Yum!



Enjoy!


Uh, dad...you might want to peel them first.


Bryn had fun too!

Logan rode off into the sunset...Hey does that thing get good gas mileage?

My dad has always wanted to go to a crawfish boil. We even had some Zydeco music playing for effect. A great time was had by all!
(We had jumbalaya the next day with the leftovers)

Monday, June 16, 2008

Perhaps the most embarrassing moment...EVER!

I'm not a "regular" kinda girl, if you know what I mean. I usually have to go at the most inconvenient times; at Target, the grocery store and heaven forbid...WORK. My husband affectionately calls me "shit-break" after American Pie, you know the kid that would only go on his toilet. At work the other day I had asked a fellow sonographer to show me how to do this particular exam, a lengthy exam at that. We were in the middle of the exam when it hit. There was a rumbly in my tumbly! I tried not to think about it as the tech was going over in detail the anatomy and the protocol.
Tech: Remember this is the cephalic vein, it's along the thumb.
Me (in my head): Right, right. Cephalic, thumb.
But I couldn't concentrate. All I was thinking about was how bad my stomach was hurting. I was standing, so I was trying to shift my weight, cross my legs this way and that way. I was squeezing my cheeks together so hard that if you put a lump of coal there I probably could have produced a diamond! The room got dead silent. Then it happened...I farted. I was so embarrassed I just pretended as though I didn't hear it. It was either that or I try to simulate the sound with my tennis shoe on the floor. Maybe the patient didn't hear it, she is kinda old. The tech, she was too involved in the exam, she probably didn't hear it either, right? What's the worst that could happen? She tells on the average 11 people and then they each tell 11 people and so on and so on....Yeah, I farted! Jealous?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Twilght Ladybug

I have three children ages 8, 4, and 3 months. Besides shoes, purses, and make-up, I love shopping for my kids. I am always on the search for the next best thing or the new gotta-have-it toy. Trust me, my kids want for nothing! With my boys they had the Fisher Price aquariums that hooked on their cribs. We bought Bryn the FP Rainforest Soother and it is okay. The music and lights don't stay on nearly long enough. A while ago I saw the Twilight Turtle Constellation Night Light in a magazine and I though hey that's pretty neat but it didn't look girly enoughThen I was shopping in a up-scale baby store and I saw the Twilight Ladybug. This was perfect, I went home, got on the computer and it was mine, or Bryn's...whatever. I wasn't sure how it was going to work. Once it arrived I couldn't wait to try it out. It has three different colors to choose from, ruby red, emerald green, or sapphire blue. The red strictly is a night light. The blue and green projects a crescent moon and stars all over the room. It even projects seven constellations on the ceiling. (I had those plastic stars that glow that I had to stick on the ceiling...this is way cooler!) It stays on for 45 minutes and then shuts off so I don't have to worry about wasting the batteries. After having this for several weeks I can honestly say it exceeds my expectations. It is fabulous, adorable and very relaxing. I think I am going to buy the turtle for the boys. This would make a great gift!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Ahh, to be a kid again


Louisiana Jones and the Bedroom of Doom
I remember when I used to pretend I was someone else. It was so much fun!

It finally happened!

It finally happened...someone called my daughter Bryan! I had scheduled a dermatology appointment for her, (because its never too early to start Botox), they called and left a message confirming her appointment.
"Yes, this is Such and Such Dermatology Clinic. We are calling to confirm Bryan's appointment on Monday at 11 am. Please be here 15 minutes early so you can fill out your paperwork. Thank you."
First of all her name is Bryn, B-R-Y-N, Bryn. Secondly she can't write yet. Ugh!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

From last night's Letterman

Top Ten Messages Left on Barack Obama's Answering Machine:
10. "It's Eliot Spitzer - let's get some girls and celebrate!"
9. "John McCain here, I...crap, I forgot why I called." (love this one)
8. "This is Al Gore, don't make the same mistake I did and win the popular vote."
7. "It's John McCain again. What is this some kind of machine that answers the phone?"
6. "This is John Kerry; are you interested in a subscription to 'Sports Illustrated'?" (and this one)
5. "You've just made a powerful enemy of The Pantsuit Manufacturers of America"
4. "It's Randy Jackson. Your last speech? Little pitchy, dawg"
3. No number 3 - writer stuck on plane with Scott McClellan
2. "Hillary calling; I'm still prepared to offer you the Vice President position"
1. "Oprah here; I helped you get the nomination now will you help me get rid of Dr. Phil"
These were too funny not to share. This is why I like politics, for the jokes!
This is what I hate about politics, celebrities ranting and raving. Susan Sarandon recently stated that she will move if John McCain is elected president. Um, didn't you say that the last time Bush was elected? Along with Rosie O'Donnell and Barbra Streisand. So go already, why wait?

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Good-bye Cellulite? Really? If this stuff really works I will bathe in it. Hey Nivea, let me know when you come out with Good-bye Gut.

It's hurricane season!

Today, June 1st, is the beginning of hurricane season. For SIX months we will watch the weather report faithfully. And we already have a tropical depression, Arthur (not coming this way). Are we prepared? No, I don't think so. Can you ever really be prepared for a natural disaster? As a Northerner I never really expected to be faced with hurricanes. I learned my lesson!
What we do have is flashlights, a couple boxes of MREs (meals ready to eat) and some jugs of water. As far as a plan goes, we go North, that is all I know for sure. We shall see.